Create The Noise. Change Your World.

There she was standing - Beautiful and almost perfect. Waiting for me to come and save her from the rain. All she needed was for someone to rescue her from the frustrations of the day. Listen to her and hold her. She wanted me to be in the present with her.

Why is it so hard to stay in the present? Maybe I am alone in this, but my mind is always on the future or in the past. I dream of strategies and goals. Then I sulk in past mistakes and missed opportunities. My life seems to center around the question, What if. What if I do this? What if this had happened? I suppose it is a good thing to always have a plan. Everyone is always looking for a good strategy, but it is all only fluff if I can’t answer the more important question.

Friday was one of the least enjoyable days of my life. My wife and I thought my job was going to finish paying through the summer, but we were wrong in our calculations. The weekly direct deposit that we were expecting never showed up in our account. This led us into a frantic state of confusion. Even worse, our account was low on funds and we had an eye specialist appointment an hour and half away for our youngest son. After the co-pay, gas and lunch, we were extremely worried about the account. We discussed (argued) about what job I needed to get right away.

I know its been a few days since I last posted anything really good. I finished teaching almost a week ago and I still haven’t been able to catch up on Father time. Between helping my wife with VBS, watching sick kids, cleaning house, working on the church’s website, helping with a youth praise band, developing ginkworld, revamping an old blog called getevolved and trying to figure out what else I can do to kill time this sumer, I have somewhat let alt.noise drift. I apologize, but it has been somewhat good for the blog. Through different circumstances and the chance to sit back, I was able to analyze as to the purpose of this blog. I thought maybe it could be a music blog, but not every post is about music. I thought an emerging theology/church blog. Most of my readers don’t even know or care about the emerging church. A productivity blog? From me - yeh right. Then it hit me.

Too many answers for me today
I love you my brother but i need time away
The smell of my bedroom is all that i can take
Away from the voices, the choruses they raise

This morning, while I was cleaning the lab, I came across the band Fielding on Pandora. They are a young emerging band from Santa Cruz, California. I found them while listening to the Jack’s Mannequien station I created so they are very similar to JM as well as Ben Folds. If you like the piano driven alt.rock with layers of distortion guitars on top, then here’s another band to add to your collection.

Have you ever had a day where it could be part of Seinfeld or Friends syndication? My Monday/Tuesday experience of this past week could’ve been a 1996 episode of either show. It all started when I got out of my car Monday morning and my keys vanished. I mean they literally dissolved all of their nano bots into the surrounding air. After searching all day for them, I gave up and admitted my defeat around 5-6 that evening. I called locksmiths - nobody would come where I was at. I called my wife and she began the hour drive to come pick me up. While waiting, I called the insurance company and they actually told me that someone will be sent out that night to fix the lock for me. I called my wife and told her to go back home.

I passed its red brick and became entranced in its simple design and old world architecture. It wasn’t a building that was designed to stand out. If the year had been a few before, it wouldn’t have stood out. The white porch invited visitors to come in. The chipped paint gave a feeling of comfort and home. It was like a well worn baseball glove. Someone once told me that the street was filled with these types of village shops and restaurants. I never knew those days. now, the street is filled with highrise office buildings, starbucks and starbuck posers. Yet, standing in front of these mighty human achievements, my eyes remain steadfast on the little craft shop that does not fit in. Why is it still here?

There he was crawling across the floor. He found the object that would give him the lift to stand upright and then directed his crawl toward it. Slowly, he lifted one hand upon the seat of the chair and got up to his knees. The chair was not a large chair and is the one I am sitting in right now. It is just a simple black computer chair, but the same as nearly everyone’s computer chair, it swivels and rolls. It did not take all of my few brain cells to realize that its not the safest chair for my son to be climbing. Yet, he managed to find it. He took the other hand that had been resting on the ground and put it atop the black seat. He pulled himself to his feet and suddenly did a couple of flips to the floor. Where was I? I was on the other side of the room. I was watching an apple/PC commercial.

I have read Atheistwager’s reflection and am quite amazed at the many similarities between ours. We both struggled through a circumstance and stayed persistent throughout it. His story of self-will inspires and resonates within me. It is extremely difficult and lonely to continue to a goal when everyone doesn’t care or believes that you should give up. I applaud him tremendously for his strength.

I have to be honest that I don’t really know how to respond to his post from a faith perspective. Mostly, I agree with his opinion that bad luck comes upon everyone. I recently wrote about this in my post Shit Happens. It really isn’t about the actions from a bad experience that is important but our reactions that we chose from it. The only thing I disagree on is that knowing God exists through tough times.

I know its hard. It was hard for me. But just admit it. You are one. I was in denial for many years, but I since have came to the conclusion that I am a misfit. Really, its not shameful. Its actually enlightening and comforting to know that I don’t have to play by the rules of the world anymore. Its exciting as I am able to pioneer a new world everyday and find new ways to be socially.. different. You interested now? Want to be one now? Well here are a few top 5 factors to help us in the misfit community determine whether you truly are a misfit - Not listed in any specific order.

About a week ago I came across a blog called Atheistwager. Simply put, the author reveals his concerns, frustrations and confusions about Christianity and religion in general. I entered into his conversation through the comments and we ended up conversing through emails in a friendly manner. After a few exchanges back and forth, I proposed that we should work on a project together. We both reflect on something similar through our own faith perspective. Afterward, we would add thoughts on each other’s experience. He picked the topic about life struggles. Damn him.

The Story