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Being Compassion: An Alternative Lifestyle

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Note: This is an entry into a blog competition hosted by three very well respected bloggers: Urban Monk, The Middle Way, and Zen-Inspired Self Development.

I knew she was hurting. You could see it in her face as the tears trickled down her bruised cheeks, but she had done it to herself.  Instead of looking for a normal guy, she sought after the dangerous ones.  If it was her first time getting into trouble then I could be a little more compassionate. This wasn’t even her fourth. Its a routine with her. I love hanging out with her because she is an excellent listener and has the most intriguing green eyes, but I’m near the breaking point in our friendship. I don’t understand her.

How am I supposed to have compassion for someone who repeatedly brings trouble onto herself?

Compassion is Good Pop Philosophy

We all say that there needs to be more compassion in the world. I’ve said it. It is a noble virtue that is applauded by many, but practiced by few. Something we would enjoy seeing everyone else do. It has become a buzz word and a staple in pop-philosophy.

But we never do it.

Compassion is good in moral philosophy, but sucks in life. We feel guilty when we aren’t compassionate to others. We know we should allow the man whom is waiting patiently in line behind us with only 1 item to move in front, but we don’t. It is to hard. We turn our attention towards the latest magazine with Britney Spears or Angelina Jolie on the cover.

On the same note, compassion seems contrived and superficial when we do attempt it. We might attempt it on rare occasions, but its rarely out of a genuine concern for the other individual. It usually has nothing to do with them. We do it because we know it is the right thing to do or a virtue that God has called us too. Therefore, it becomes an awkward chore more like making your bed every morning.

What if we are wrong in our understanding of compassion?

The Compassionate Lifestyle

Maybe compassion is more than simply giving charity to a homeless man or feeling sorry for an abuse victim. What if it wasn’t just a virtue, and instead compassion was an alternative way of viewing and interacting with the world.

Compassion is so hard because we are only attempting the physical and final aspects of it.  Before we begin with our charitable actions, we must understand what it means to have compassion. I have come to realize that compassion is seeing the world through someone else’s eyes and then acting on her needs and frustrations.

We, as people, don’t like to attempt to understand others. It leaves us vulnerable and are most open to be taken advantage of when we try the act of understaing. We put up a personal firewall to the dangerous world.

The Process of Having A Compassionate Lifestyle

1. Conversation

We don’t want to leave ourselves open, but we must in order to create a more compassionate world. The first step in living a lifestyle of compassion is to stop and converse with people. The conversation is not about judging whether someone is right or wrong, nor about gaining influence from conversations. It is about getting to the heart of who the other person is.

2. Reflection

Without good conversation, we can never reach the second step in having a compassionate lifestyle. The conversation gives you the information so you can step back and reflect on someone else’s world.  It is not an attempt in psychoanalysis and understanding why the individual made certain decisions, but seeing how these decisions have affected and shaped that individual.

The reflection allows you to enter into the persona of someone else and feel everything that they have gone and are going through. This is where the heart of compassion is and where most people don’t even attempt. Without it, the act of compassion becomes an hollow log.

3.Action

The final step in the compassionate lifestyle is the physical actions that take place after one enters into the persona of another individual. It is good but worthless if we stop at seeing the world through someone else’s eyes. You might have a heart for other people, but what is a heart without hands? We’ve got to physically remove the burdens that are placed on each other’s backs.

The Future of Compassion

What would this lifestyle look like in practice? It would create beautiful interactions and relationships with people from various economic and social backgrounds. Our everyday worlds would have more peace in their existence, but it wouldn’t be all easy. We still would get hurt. People would take advantage of you and there will be days where compassion is the last thing you want. Yet, there will also be someone to lift you out of the mud and inspire you to move forward because he will see what you are going through.

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