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I admit it. I’m a lazy father when it comes to spiritual practices such as praying. Its not that I think praying is a waste of time, life just flies by and another day is over without praying.  I suppose there are some young families out there that have a solid prayer life, but I haven’t found many. From my experience, nearly every young family whom started marriage by routinely praying has since ceased.

No, I’m not going on a pessimistic rant about the death of family in America. My wife and I fall into the category of a spiritual shallow family. We had higher hopes. I am actually optimistic about the potential of the family in America. Unlike the generations that have come before us, we realize that we need the help of someone larger than us.

The problem for many newlyweds and engaged couples is that they are entirely idealistic. They have nothing else but idealism. Eventually, reality will surface. The couple begin to realize that praying before every meal, praying at night together, and personal devotional time cannot be juggled into one day. Add in arguments, hospitals, friends, restaurants and other factors, life is never steady enough to live and pray idealistically.

This is why I am suggesting a new realistic plan for inserting prayer into the family. If one follows these steps then it is a reachable goal to include the discipline of prayer into the family routine

1. Start Small - Do not attempt to be a prayer mystic tomorrow. Start by committing to praying (lets use the word conversing) once in a day. Do not pencil in a slot in your schedule, but allow it to occur when there is a down moment/time for rest in your day. It could be on the drive home from work, during a coffee break, in the shower, or through commercial breaks. Don’t feel guilty. God is willing to converse with you anywhere at anytime.

2. Announce It - A good commitment begins with an announcement to someone whom you want respect. This kind of commitment should not be attempted alone. Invite your spouse to be involved and support one another.

3. Create a Visual - Everything that we involve ourselves in a daily basis stems from a stimulus of our senses. Write it down, draw a picture, or record a song. Do whatever it takes to remind you to look like a fool and pray.

4. Reward Yourself - I know this sounds like some superficial and controversial step, but it is one of the most important. Learning and habit forming occurs when our bodies associate a task, substance, event with something beneficial to us. It is the nature in us - Pursue worthwhile things while avoiding useless tasks. If we worry that prayer will cut into our time and cause us stress then we’ll naturally start to avoid it. On the other hand, if we reward ourselves by removing one dreary task from our schedule, it will prove beneficial.

5. Write and Reflect - After you pray, write it down. It doesn’t have to immediately follow the prayer, but at some point keep a log of all the time you spent praying. Use the log at the end of the week to reflect on your prayers, the benefits, the trouble, and how you felt. During the time of reflection (it could be at church or during saturday morning cartoons) ask yourself if it was worth it.

 Continue in this process for two weeks and you will have a habit starting to form. Once you start praying yourself, you then can repeat the process and include family prayer times. Allow yourself to build slowly on your family’s prayer life and you will realize it will grow exponentially. After you’ve gotten a steady habit of praying alone, remove the reward. Then move to praying once a day with your spouse and restart the process

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