Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. – Apostle Paul [Galatians 6:1]

“He is an idiot for doing something that stupid.” We’ve all thought this at some point in time in our lives. It might have been as recent as NFL Wide Receiver Plaxico Burress shooting himself in the leg at a night club or several years ago with a major political figure (I’m not going to shoot out any names). There is a good chance that you had this thought while listening to a mistake of someone you care about – possibly a brother or a friend. It is perfectly natural to have this thought and it might even help us grow so that we don’t do the same stupid thing. But the issue isn’t your initial reaction, it is your deliberate actions following.

How do you react when somebody does something so terribly wrong that it hurts another individual?

Seeking Justice For a Betrayed Friend

What if your cousin just got caught lying to your mom for several years by gambling money that was supposed to go towards old debt? This is generally not a legal issue, but there is no doubt that your cousin took advantage of his or her situation. What is your reaction? Your mom deserves justice and your cousin needs to be punished.. right?

I agree, but thats not what is important to me. I do not promote an idea of allowing an individual to keep on walking all over you nor refraining from any punishment. I believe in justice, fairness, and using punishment as a form of motivating future actions, but I also believe in redemption.

The Heart of Restoring Hurt Relationships

When all the dust settles and everyone has returned to their rational selves, it is important to consider how you will consciously make an effort to restore the confidence of this individual and return them back into his community’s relationship. You can consider the justice and consequences as the surface issue, but you then need to consider restoring the individual as the interior issue and is the matter of the heart.

We do not need to allow our pride take over with feelings of animosity, bitterness, and betrayal. When someone gets caught hurting another individual, we do not need to act superior or treat them as they are dumb. Instead, we need to encourage them and help them find their way back onto the right path. We need to let them know that they can trust us and we have been/will be in the same shoes. Finally, we need to show them how to ask for forgiveness and restore their broken relationships.

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What would you do if you had more time in your day?

What if it was only 10 minutes?

From my own experience, I have noticed that we do not like free time. We like the idea of free time, but we can’t stand it when we create it for ourselves. I might leave from work 20 minutes early so I have a little more free time at home… but what do I do once I get there?

I fill up the time with some unimportant task.

10 Ways To Save 10 Minutes

Monday, I read an article called, 10 ways to save 10 minutes, from Marc and Angel Hack Life. I am extremely appreciative that I took the time to read this article as I am applying many of its principles into my life.  It gives you a few examples, such as buying in bulk and organizing your space, to help increase productivity in your life so that you have more free time.

But it made me wonder what we would do with our extra free time.

Invest In Things Or Relationships?

Before you start applying these principles into your life, you must decide what exactly you plan to do with your extra time. Will you invest more into Guitar Hero or will you  invest more into the relationships that are in your world?

I do not think there is anything wrong with becoming an expert in Guitar Hero or any other leisure activity. These are relaxing and beneficial things that you enjoy, but they shouldn’t be the reason why you create free time.

They are just things.

Our living communities should be our focus.

Our Misplaced Priority In Relationships.

I have noticed that we ideally place the relationships in our communities as a high priority, but then they are easily pushed to the side when it comes to accomplishing tasks. We like the idea of developing deeper relationships, but not the practice of it. It is easier to spend time with some non-living object who can’t get in your face.

Therefore, we have put our focus on things when the original purpose of these things are to help develop our relationships.

Who Would You Spend 10 Extra Minutes With?

Imagine if you had ten minutes of earned time that you gave to someone with whom you cared. How would that affect your relationship with them? I dream of having more time to spend outside playing with my two boys. There is a lot I can teach them in 10 minutes. We could even use the time to run around the yard pretending to be airplanes. Even though we would enjoy all the extra time we spend with these activities, it doesn’t add up to the most important thing built up by the time spent.

The knowing and sharing of love.

My desire for my free time is for those whom are inside my world, what is yours?

Are you afraid of these three little words?

It is one of the shortest sentences in the English language, but it is one of the most difficult to let out of your mouth. We really hate saying it. Some people might go throughout their entire lives without uttering it to anyone. Then again, these people probably don’t have many close friends. Beyond wanting to hear it, we all need to hear and say this one powerful sentence.

I am sorry.

It is funny to watch the lengths that we go in order to not say “im sorry”. We buy flowers or we cook an extra special dinner. We might even give a 40 minute foot massage, but it is so hard to say im sorry.

It is the humility that is required when we give an apology. It breaks our spirit and it hurts our pride. We have to admit out loud that we were wrong.

I hate being wrong. In my world, I am never wrong. I am always right in my present moment. But when I apologize, I am in my present moment publicly admitting that I was wrong..

and it is completely out there

For

everyone

to

hear.

The famous cliche tells us that action speaks louder than words, and I agree. generally. But when it comes to broken relationships and torn friendships, there is nothing more powerful than one sentence. When it is someone that you deeply care about locking the door and forever removing you from their lives… They want to hear one small sentence and nothing else.

I am sorry .

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Liked By Everyone

Do you see yourself as a misfit?

We naturally want everyone to like us. They don’t need to be in awe of us, but we do like to be accepted as part of the group. It is not self-serving.

It is just life.

I Thought I was Liked By Everyone

I always thought I was liked by everyone. I prided myself in my ability to share and befriend people from many backgrounds.

It was just a gift that I had.

I could ask the right questions and give a caring smile. I never thought twice that people might not like me.

Until I found out otherwise

I was devastated. Why don’t these people like me? I’m always friendly and funny. I asked around, but never received an honest answer from anyone why these people don’t like me.

Certain people just don’t like us.

Admit it, you don’t like certain people.

Acceptance Of Personal Preference

After awhile, I realized it wasn’t that big of a deal that this group of individuals didn’t  like me. We all have things that bother someone else . I can’t stand people who are loud and obnoxious.

They annoy the mess out of me.

We believe in personal taste when it comes to every other area of our lives. You won’t find a movie that appeals to everyone. There are indie fanatics and then there are the horror junkies. You put them in the same room with a sci-fi geek and you have trouble brewing. Since personal taste affects so many areas of our lives..

Why do we think that we are the exceptions?

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I could write up in the sky

forgive me I apologize

still if I went through every measure

with my promise to be better

you’d say – “I’ll believe you when“ Matchbox Twenty

She stood there at the door. One foot in. One foot out. I knew what she was feeling. It was my fault that she was hurt and crying, but there was nothing I could do to fix it. I told her I was going to change. I told her  that things are getting better. I told her that she could’ve done something. All the excuses were in vain. She looked beyond me and was broken. There wasn’t anything I could say. She knew the history.

Whoa.. I’ll believe you when… when everything you say, don’t turn out wrong

Last night, I picked up Matchbox Twenty’s latest album, Exile On Mainstream, that included a DVD and it had this song called “I’ll believe you when”. I’ve always liked reading the Matchbox Twenty’s lyrics, but this song hit me. Erica and I fight. Many couples I know fight. Personalities make arguments anavoidable, but sometimes there are bigger issues. We have flaws in our chemistry that entices us to hurt the one closest to us. repeatedly.

The Wall

In the song, I’ll believe you when, Rob Thomas tries to tell the one that he’s hurt that he is sorry. In all of his efforts, she isn’t sold. She might want too, but she can’t believe him. She has let him in too much and he has hurt her. She loves him, but puts up a wall so she will be safe.

It Takes Time

It is not a question of love. When we hurt those who have let us in, they still love us. They just become afraid. Like Matchbox Twenty sang, there is nothing we can say to convince her to be open with us. We could aplogize a thousand times, but she needs to see someone she can trust again. It takes time: Time to be committed to the change that we promised to her.

whoa

I’ll believe you when

whoa

I’ll believe you when

whoa

when everything you say

don’t turn out wrong  – “I’ll believe you when” Matchbox Twenty from the album  Exile On Mainstream.

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