Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. [Proverbs 3:5-6]

Should I Give Up on Him or Her?

Relationships are impossibly hard.

I think they are designed to be that way. We are all complex and, lets just be honest, annoying creatures. We live each day thinking about our own responsibilities and tasks. We become frustrated when the old man who innocently dialed the wrong number takes more than 20 seconds to figure out his mistake.

How do we handle living in a relationship where there is always someone interrupting our personal time?

Martians will think that we are insane!

We hate when people interrupt us, but we still yearn for someone who  will stay true with us. We know that at the end of the day we cannot do it alone nor do we want to. We come home after a stressful day and all of the frustrations melt away when we see that smile that says, “I am still here. We will do it together.”

But what happens when the smile vanishes?

Our Silly Addiction to the Intoxication of Love

All relationships start out perfect. All you encounter are  smiles and longing eyes. The other partner can do no wrong. We’ve all been there. Is it the adrenaline, endorphins or Maslow’s need for belonging? I don’t know, but new love empowers us into a false sense of invincibility.

Then we naively take a running leap off Niagra Falls knowing full well that we will dive into the pool of love but instead we meet the hard and thorny surface known to all as reality. We then stand up to the all familiar voice of Michael Stipe of R.E.M. leading a wailing choir as they sing, “Everybody Hurts”.

Why do we always fall into the same trap of allowing ourselves to depend on others for our own affirmation?

Girl Mesmerizes Boy and Magically Evaporates His Wallet.. What Else is New?

Years ago, I was in love with this beautiful girl named Ashley. The ground turned to the clearest of diamonds with every step she took and she knew that every male’s eye was fixed directly on her. She looked at a guy and his wallet flew out of his pocket right into her hand.

Yes, I was proud to say to guys that this girl smiled only at me.. or so I thought.

In those days, I was truly invincible and purely awesome. I strutted down the street in my own patented pimp walk. Girls would whisper to one another and guys nodded with that knowing smirk. Life was good because they all knew that Ashley was with me.

Life truly was intoxicating in the beginning of the relationship, but things grew to become more complicated as time passed. Ashley was always beautiful and angelic. Slowly, I noticed that she seemed to struggle with the same issues.

Money and guys.

I Wanted to Save the Relationship and Be Her Knight in Shining Armor

I didn’t mind helping her out with most of her issues. She truly had a difficult past that she had to overcome. Her dad was an alcoholic and had a truly jerk of an ex-boyfriend. We would spend hours talking about our future and questions about God. I respected her as a person and still do in many ways to this day.

Because I had such a deep respect for her, I enjoyed playing the part of her knight in shining armor.

What I didn’t realize is that I allowed my pride and need for affirmation to blind me to her complete self. Ashley is an amazing person in many ways, but she also is self-destructive to the point of destroying other people’s lives. I allowed her to continue to use, cheat, and lie to me because I felt that God put me there to save her.

The once proud boy who had his own patented strut became a shell of a breathing person.

Should You Give Up or Quit In Your Current Relationship?

Relationships like mine with Ashley aren’t healthy for either party. It is obvious that the relationship needed to be ended when it is over, but love and pride blind us when we are in the midst of the forest. We continue to fight because we are trained not to quit and not to give up.

A Unhealthy Superman or Superwoman Complex

I know this will come as a shock to you. I know it did me. You aren’t a superhero. You aren’t wearing a cool cape and an awesome leotard with a see-through mask to protect your identity.  Contrary to what I believed, I could not run faster than a speeding bullet to kiss an extremely attractive woman and then dart out of the way. Neither can you. She does catch you.

(on a side note: If you are wearing a leotard with a cloth cape, then please stop reading this article. Read this instead.)

You cannot save him or her. Do not get caught in the lie that you must stay in the relationship because he needs you. He keeps on telling you that you are the only thing that is keeping him afloat, but this isn’t completely accurate.

You aren’t keeping him afloat. He is drowning you.

We weren’t created to save each other and it is destructive to think that we can be anyone’s savior. Only God can rescue him or her. You are actually hindering his own growth and ability to overcome his personal demons when you try to do it for him.

He actually grows to depend on you rather than God and figure out the tools to do it himself. Will you always be there for him?

The Only Way to Learn to Walk is to Fall a Thousand Times

Think about how you were able to overcome your own personal demons. Was someone else able to do it for you?

Anyone will tell you that my biggest problem is forgetfulness. Once, I drove past my own driveway 5 times in a row because I was too busy singing.I laugh and joke about it because most of the time it is funny, but true forgetfulness frustrates and destroys. Imagine driving three hours to go to a Foo Fighters concert only to find out that you left the tickets on the table.

The girl never returned my phone calls after that date.

Sure, I could find a woman who anally follows behind me. She writes me lists every time I walk out the door. When I leave for a work trip, she calls me every hour to make sure that I have everything I need. Truthfully though, I would dump her.. quick.

Not only would she annoy the mess out of me, but She also is unhealthy for my own life. I onlyunderstand the struggle of my forgetfulness because I’ve had to deal with the repercussions of it happening to me. There are occasions where I have forced myself to drive half an hour to pick up my phone from work at midnight even though I could’ve done it in the morning.

The only way to learn to walk is to fall a thousand times is the truest words ever spoken.

How do You Know When It is the Right Time to Give Up?

Not all relationships have to end in destructive means. Many times a couple should end a relationship even though it isn’t destructive. You originally entered into the relationship because he intrigued you or you felt comfortable around him. As time went by, you realized that there is something missing. You know that you do love him or her so you continue in the relationship but you are constantly questioning it.

You ask, “Is it time? How do I know?”

1.Pray for Direction, Patience and Discernment Regarding the Relationship

There are a lot of questions going through your mind when you start to question the relationship. How do you know that it isn’t just a plateau that you must cross? What if he or she is the one?  Are you just being selfish? We all question our motives as it is a way for us to help guide us into good decisions, but many times the questions only lead us into a never-ending circle.

When you start the process, begin by praying about it. Ask specifically for patience in direction and discernment. Do not expect an easy answer or personal resolve immediately. You aren’t asking God to tell you what to do. You need God to show some clarity so you can make healthy decision.

2. Talk With an Honest and Trusted Friend

There are two types of friends and both of them are needed. Some friends are cheerleaders and will always be on your side to encourage you. The other is one that is honest and will talk to you straight. You need to have a deep conversation with the latter about quitting the relationship.

Honest friends will help you critically think through the issues from an objective standpoint. They will always encourage you, but will also help you see things that previously blinded you. You are in the midst of the struggle and doubts. There will be important issues you will overlook.

3. Find Confidence in Your Decision and Trust in God’s Control

God will see you through this decision in whatever choice you make because you prayed for direction. Once you’ve made your decision, feel confident that it is the right one for the relationship. I cannot tell you which direction take take, but you need to create confidence in your decision and not allow yourself to doubt.

You’ve prayed, gotten advice and thought through the issues. Trust that God will provide a path.

The Destructive Beliefs About Quitting and Power in Confidence

We are told from a young age, ‘Quitters never win’. We grow to believe that we are going backwards when we change course in life. Our pride will bust and we’ll waste time. Therefore, we keep on the same negative path for possibly years and decades.

We become the old bitter person because we refused to quit.

We must remember that sometimes it is necessary to quit (even in relationships) in order to live an abundant life. Do not allow regrets or pride to control your mind. Many times, you must quit something in order to see the next opportunity God has planned for you.

Video About Overcoming Negative Thinking and Beliefs

The biggest roadblock that people have is that they allow beliefs such as, “I need this person in order to live, I’m a failure if I quit or I can’t be alone.”  to hinder the vision God has for them. You will continue to be stuck if you allow them to control you.

Steven Aitchison blogs about overcoming such negative beliefs. I really respect his writing and his Mind Alchemy course is really based on very strong and foundational psychological principles. He created this entertaining video about overcoming these negative beliefs.

Click here to watch the video

This Article is Part of a Blogger Jam

I wrote this article as a contribution into a blogger community program. Bonnie Gray, from Faith Barista fame, puts together an opportunity for bloggers everywhere to write about one topic together. It is an awesome and fun opportunity with amazing articles. This weeks topic was about Quitting.  Click here to see the other awesome articles.

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• Admit a Mistake and Reclaim the Passions of Your Heart
• Get Rid of Anger and Resentment in Relationships at the Source

Last week, I had an interesting conversation with an old female friend over the phone. We knew each other in college and I had a good crush on her. I didn’t pursue her because she was a friend and I didn’t get any vibes she was interested. I assumed she was googley-eyed for one of the John Mayer wannabe’s strutting through the school.

I was not John Mayer.

I am definitely more Steve Carell – strange and goofy. I always dreamt that I could be one of those suave and awesomely cool guys. You know, those guys that dress as they were the entertainment in a three ring circus but still exude cool from their pores. They can totally rock the flannel shirts and beaded jewelry.

I tried to wear flannel shirts once. I live in Florida. It was hot and I was told that I looked like the star character in a horror film. I had sneaking suspicion that it wasn’t a compliment.

Do the Nice Guys Know You Like Them?

In the middle of my conversation with my female friend, she told me that she had a huge crush on me in college. I thought to myself for a second and had a sudden epiphany – poor girl, she must’ve gotten my name confused with Ted Watson.

It was understandable since my name is Stephen Miracle. Stephen and Ted are easy to get confused. They both have the letter T in them.

After my epiphany, I lovingly corrected my dear friend and reminded her who she was talking too. Apparently, she thought I was being funny because I was the guy she had a crush on. I guess a guy can catch a break every once awhile.

The Nice Guys Want You

I was flabbergasted after the phone call and did what every guy does in the situation. Cried in my pillow and asked my teddy bear, “Why didn’t I see it?”

Once I finished my personal pouting festival (I considered making balloon animals), I decided to do something about the situation. I didn’t want this to happen to me again so I chose to write an article for future gals on how to land that nice guy.

5 Tips to Get the Nice Guy Begging For Your Number.

1. The Nice Guy Does Think You Are Beautiful

You are a beautiful woman the way that you are. I have met many ugly women and you are not one of them. How do I know? You want a nice guy and you aren’t some vain plastic girl who only thinks about diamonds. You enjoy living and are generally interested in other people. You have passions and dreams.

That is hot.

I am not going to lie. I turn my head every time I see a Scarlett Johanson walk by me. She definitely is gorgeous to look at, but you know what else is nice to the eye.. plastic grapes.

I ate a plastic grape once. It didn’t taste good.

2. Believe the nice guy wants to ask you out.

I was attracted to the girl in my opening story, but I just didn’t see any signals. You’ve got to truly believe he wants to ask you out over that fake girl who laughs at every other word. Why does those girls always get the good guys?

Because they either a.) believe the nice guy wants to ask them out or b.) they have a strangely large empty space in their skull.

The truth is that the nice guy does want to ask you out because he is in awe of you as a person. He is intrigued every single time you talk about your future and how you want to make an impact on the world. He loves answering your questions and reassuring you when you doubt your ability.

He waits patiently in hopes that you send the same signal to him as you do the jerks, but they never come. You don’t send them because you doubt yourself.

He is attracted to you and believe that he does want to ask you out.

3. Smile at the Nice Man and Look the Guy in the Eyes

I was in the store earlier and I crossed paths with a friendly woman. I knew within a minute she was interested. She smiled at me and continued to hold my gaze as I rambled on about the amazingness of spaghettios.

Contrary to popular women’s magazines, it doesn’t take a college degree in manipulation to get a nice guy to like you.

All you need to do is smile at him and look him in the eye. I have a tendency to ramble about nonsense, but I try to be keenly aware of when the other person is bored out of their mind. As soon as the other person’s eyes begin to wander, I believe that they have lost interest.

If you smile and hold his gaze, then he’ll know you are interested in his rambling and possibly are interested in him.

4. Geniunely Compliment the Good Guy.

There is nothing that sets off light bulbs faster than a genuine compliment. This is probably the biggest secret that I can share with you because it is often overlooked. The self-occupied women don’t compliment because they haven’t really thought about the nice guy and other women don’t because their afraid.

But you can because you believe he does want to ask you out.

Go ahead and compliment him. Don’t compliment his shoes or calligraphy. You are attracted to him for a particular reason. Mention his disarming smile or how you always feel secure around him. Compliment us a couple of times and we will be begging to take you to that new expensive Italian place overlooking the water.

5.Understand us nice guys aren’t very bright.

Here is the sad truth that hurts our pride. With all of our good qualities, the jerks are much smarter than us nice guys when it comes to you ladies. We don’t have any secret formulas or strategies to hypnotize you into going on a date with us. We haven’t picked up any copies of the Player’s Handbook.

Call us old-fashioned but we don’t want to trick a girl into going out with us. We will approach the girl when she has given us the go-ahead.

Which is the problem.

But not for you anymore.

You are Ready to Attract the Nice Man Today

You are ready to land that nice guy and have him begging to ask you out because you know that he does want you. You don’t have to read any fancy magazines or follow some fashion trends. The nice guy is attracted to you because of your complete package.

Models are nice to look at but just like in a car lot, they are pointless to consider. There usually isn’t anything under the hood.

Now you, on the other hand, are what the nice guy dreams about. He can see in your eyes that you honestly care about other people. You have a passion for life and making a positive impact on the world. Reality stops when you walk into the room and somehow people always end up smiling when they talk to you.

We can’t put a finger on it, but you are different.. no, you are unique, and you don’t even see how intriguing that is.

And that’s hot.

10 Free Secrets to a Guy’s Heart

“What is wrong with him?”

I have found that many women as this question about us guys. You do not understand what makes us tick (even though we are incredibly simple-minded creatures). We end up making decisions that truly make you scratch your head and that great guy always ends up with some crazy girl.

Why does he always overlook you?

In response to many of my female friends asking, “Why are guys such idiots?”, I decided to write down some truly practical secrets for ladies to attract the heart of a man. Every single one of these secrets are proven and are based on real psychological principles.

And personal experiences where ladies have influenced myself.

These are definitely premium secrets but I am going to give them away to you for FREE. My goal is to see truly great girls like you attracting the nice guys you truly deserve.

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• Stay Still in the Present

photo by Nicholaus Haskins

“If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.” – Maya Angelou

Love Powers Life

You stand in your room with only the reflection of yourself staring in the mirror to comfort you. You recite several hundred times how you are going to say it. Tonight is the night and you are committed to it.

I love you.

The most popular sentence in the history of the world is also the most difficult to actually form out of your mouth. It is estimated that we think about this sentence more than any other topic combined. Money, wealth, popularity and possessions don’t even compare.

We want to share the deepest parts of our heart with another person and feel their love in return.

God Created Love to Inspire Our Thoughts

The first desire of human existence has always been love. God created all of existence for Adam’s delight. No animal nor any inspiring sunset could fill the emptiness that Adam felt. He needed someone. Someone that can capture his time with a single look. Someone that will inspire hope in the darkness of his soul.

God created eve.

With the first breath of this beautiful creature, God created the most breathtaking event that will ever take place. No eclipse will compare. No movie will do it justice. No song could describe it.

God formed the power of love.

Love Inspires Eternity in Your Heart

Love pumps the blood in our souls. Our bodies whither and fade, but we will eternally flourish when true love bleeds from our spirit. It is the essence the world will never capture from us. The world may rob us of our possessions. It will trade our youth for gray, but it cannot own our love.

Our love will endure.

Do Not Let Love’s Flame Burn Out

Love cannot be taken from us, but we can lose its glow. Without attention, the light begins to darken. Its once fiery blaze erases from memory. The coals cool and the smoke floats beyond relevance. Our hearts turn to ice and emotions worse than bitterness arises from its ashes.

Love vanishes. Apathy reigns.

We must fight the noise the world tries to drown our ears –  the constant busyness that fools our minds into forced worthiness, the broken promises that fuel our resentment and the jealousy that enslaves our heart. This noise creates a gap from the love that bleeds within our heart. The world will not stop from its constant bombardment on your existence.

You must fight it.

Refresh Love’s Flame With Your Inspiring Classic Weapon

The world may have a large army of fear and manipulation, but its a weak enemy against your faith in love. The world quivers and flees once you awaken to the power of love God has placed inside of you. These once powerful forces shrink into harmless road cracks that are easily crossed.

Contrary to the noise of the world, the love in your heart never dies. Its warmth may feel cool, but it exists and yearns to burn inside every vein that flows through your spirit. Tenderly care for its coals. passionately feed its flames.

Love will pump into your hands, your eyes, and your heart. It will inspire your thoughts and desires.

Create an Environment of Inspiration

The secret to eternally burning love is not difficult. It may seem silly in its ease, but you shouldn’t question its power. We overlook the humble weapon for more refined and technologically advanced techniques, but these seemingly beautiful solutions are only plastic replicas in comparison.

The answer is the classic response that rests dormant inside of you.

1. Remove the negative noise at its source.

The negativity and manipulation of the world enters your life through various sources. The most powerful source is other people. Negative people who survive from drinking all hope from your life are constantly looking for an unwatched hole to enter your world. These individuals leech onto your soul and find pleasure in destroying your life with drama.

They will not stop until your love stops burning and then find their next victim.

You must also caution yourself to media and entertainment. Messages in movies and music both can infiltrate your thinking and drain the love that flows through your veins. The imagined success and fake realities these venues portray slowly creates false beliefs that manipulate you into believing you are worthless and need more.

This is false. God inspired love into your life which created your worth before you were born.

2. Create Inspirational Reinforcements for Love

Our love dries up from within our hearts because of our lack to return to its source. The single best solution to reigniting the love inside of you is to surround yourself with inspiring reminders of love’s beautiful moments.

The noise of the world cannot enter your life if it is filled with spectacular images that love can paint.

Look around your home. Do you proudly display the inspirational memories of love and life? Is there a photo of your most proud moment together when you open the door and step into the house?

Whatever you hear and see when you open that door will inspire your thoughts for the rest of the day.

What does it say if you see an empty wall?

Find Streams of Inspiration to Replenish Love

You must find streams of inspiration that can quench the thirst of love inside you. Displaying visual memories from pictures are vital, but must not be alone. Deepen relationships with friends who encourage your love and find a new and little way every day to display your love.

Another important element is finding inspiration that you can take with you. An inspirational thought about love that you have read can infuse your heart and can create an oasis when your heart begins to dry.

Inspirational Thoughts about Love Every Day

Reading inspiring quotes and seeing positive images reinforces the inspiration your love needs. It has been my heart to create resources that will provide a small bar of music amidst the noise of the world. I have searched throughout the Internet and compiled a page that you will value.

Here is your inspirational thoughts for love.

Beautiful Quotes to Inspire Love

“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.”

“It has been said that we need just three things in life: Something to do, Something to look forward to And someone to love.”

“Just don’t give up on trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.” – Ella Fitzgerald

“In real love you want the other person’s good. In romantic love, you want the other person.”

“What is love? Love is when one person knows all of your secrets… your deepest, darkest, most dreadful secrets of which no one else in the world knows… and yet in the end, that one person does not think any less of you; even if the rest of the world does.”

“Love isn’t finding a perfect person. It’s seeing an imperfect person perfectly.”

“Sacrificing your happiness for the happiness of the one you love, is by far, the truest type of love.” – Sam Keen

“To love someone is nothing, to be loved by someone is something, but to be loved by the one you love is everything”

“Love is not written on paper, for paper can be erased. Nor is it etched on stone, for stone can be broken. But it is inscribed on a heart and there it shall remain forever.”

oto by HAMED MASOUMI

photo by Www.CourtneyCarmody.com/

Fantasize In These Inspirational Love Poems

Evening Song
Look off, dear Love, across the sallow sands,
And mark yon meeting of the sun and sea;
How long they kiss in sight of all the lands,
Ah! longer, longer we.

Now, in the sea’s red vintage melts the sun
As Egypt’s pearl dissolved in rosy wine
And Cleopatra-night drinks all- ’tis done,
Love, lay thine hand in mine.

Come forth, sweet stars, and comfort heaven’s heart,
Glimmer, ye waves, ’round else unlighted sands;
Oh night! divorce our sun and sky apart-
Never our lips, our hands.
– Sidney Lanier

There is a Lady Sweet and Kind
here is a lady sweet and kind,
Was never a face so pleased my mind;
I did but see her passing by,
And yet, I’ll love her till I die.

Her gesture, motion, and her smiles,
Her wit, her voice my heart beguiles,
Beguiles my heart, I know not why,
And yet, I’ll love her till I die.

Cupid is winged and he doth range,
Her country, so, my love doth change:
But change she earth, or change she sky,
Yet, I will love her till I die.
- Thomas Ford

Read more Inspirational Love poems from our archive

Your Inspirational Source for Love

I created altNoise.net as a resource to inspire your life and love. I write inspirational thoughts and articles to help encourage you in your journey.  Your world is constantly bombarded with negative attacks from people trying to bring you down. You need a resource to reaffirm your worth.

You are the pearl in God’s eye.

Here are a few inspirational thoughts on love that I have written :

• True Inspirational Poem about Friendship
• Inspirational CS Lewis Quotes on Love
• Inspirational Love Poem About True Love
• I Carry Your Heart With Me
• The 1 Secret of Happy Relationships in Lasting Love

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“Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living. It is the beginning place, the foundation upon which more can be built. Where trust is, love can flourish” – Barbara Smith

photo by Adwriter

How is your relationship with your significant other?

Are you really happy?

My Failed Attempts at Lasting Love

I realize the irony in a single divorced 20-something man giving relationship advice to the general public. It is true that I could heed some other experts advice on dating and relationships. It isn’t my fault that I find the nearest escape route as soon as a potentially suitable partner takes notice in my unnaturally large head. I swear that I am just a hopeless romantic in an enduring search for the right woman for me.

Ya, I couldn’t even fool myself with that line.

Anyway, I will return to issue at hand. I miraculously discovered that I can give great relationship advice for other people as I’ve seen marriages restored, lives blossomed and unicorns created when I open my mouth. Maybe it is the mystery of the cosmos or maybe it is the revelation I discovered in an ancient Egyptian self-help book found at my public library.

But the most likely scenario is that I look at my last failed interaction with the opposite gender and I tell people to do the opposite.

I Lost Her Trust

Several days ago, I was in a bind. I had to move furniture that morning from an old location to a new location. The furniture had to be gone that morning or else I was the one gone. As usual, I waited for the last minute because I hate lifting heavy stuff and this definitely surpassed my 50 lb limit. This was fine until that day when I discovered the new location wasn’t open.

I had a truck full of furniture with nowhere to put it and I had to be back to pick up more furniture.

This little incident wasn’t helping my anxiety in any shape, but I figured out a plan. I would call a certain friend and ask them in my most pitiful voice if I could store one or two small things at their house for a night. I framed it perfectly and was given the clearance.  Then I was able to move the rest of the stuff and lived happily ever after.

Then the guilt came.

I hate it when guilt comes knocking on your heart. I knew as soon as I asked that I wouldn’t be around to move the furniture the next day. I just needed a concrete day to help with my persuasion and it worked, but  it came at too high of a price if I were to fail to find a way to move it the next day.

My credibility would be shot with this very special friend of mine.

Trust is Central to Lasting Relationships

When I look back on the situation, I realize that the only reason why this girl let me store my baggage at her place was she trusted me. I would like to believe that she was mesmerized by my great smile, but I had asked over the phone. After I pondered all of the available and mostly unbelievable excuses, I came back to the only and real logical reason.

She trusted me and I blew it.

This incident isn’t very significant in a world full of  liars, cheats, and scam-artists, but what separates you from them if you consistently renege on your promises?  Even further, we need people that we can truly trust in such a crazy world. Your husband or wife needs to know that they can trust you when everyone else around them is trying to take advantage of them.

Trust is the single most important secret to happy relationships

Lasting and Happy Relationships Depend on Trust

Trust is so centrally tied with the fabric of happy relationships that I would venture to say that most broken relationships and even unhappy relationships are caused by lack of trust. I don’t mean that every failed marriage or relationship ends  due  to major scandal. Instead, I would say that it is even worse.

A relationship ends because you have come to the realization that you cannot consistently trust him or her.

Do People Really Trust You

Psychologists have found that trust was the most popular answer in a survey of dozens of happy couples who have been married for over 50 years. These couples weren’t your average couple who merely survived marriage because of  ideology. The happy couples still show the same amount of love and respect in their eyes as the first time they met.

Happy couples in enduring and lasting love trust each other.

Does your partner truly trust you? Take a minute and evaluate your most important relationships. It can be a spouse, children or even friendship. How well are they able to say you will follow through on your promises?

Who is the person that you consistently let down even in the little things?

Our Natural Desire for Drama but Our Need for Grace

Here is the sad reality in life – we all remember the most painful memories of others more than the happiest. Some cognitive psychologists say it is due to evolution and we have evolved to protect ourselves from those who would steal our hard-earned buffalo meat from under our noses when we were cavemen wearing itchy bear fur and fig leaves.

This might be true, but I believe it is just human nature. We prefer dwelling on the drama in our lives.

We are a world who focuses on drama, but this doesn’t mean that a relationship is doomed the first time someone fails to live up to a promise. Drama is a factor to our natural makeup, but forgiveness and grace is central to us as people. We like to watch people fail.

But we are inspired by stories of redemption.

Begin Your Lasting Relationship Today

After you reviewed your relationships, have you found important people that you need to work harder for them to trust you? As you can see from my story above, I am one of the first on the list and in no means in a position to judge you. It may possibly be my desire to not feel alone in my failure in trust, but I believe that many of you are like me and could work on developing a persona that is trusted.

There is hope.

3 Ingredients to Lasting Love

Trust really depends on three simple factors – Intention, Completion, and Consistency. No matter how hard I try to force trust by flashing a pretty smile (and I am low enough to really try it), I cannot do it. Sadly, I cannot buy trust nor ask for it. I must always have the three factors of intention, completion and consistency.

Trust is hard work.

1. Intention – Yes, trust is highly dependent on your intentions. In order to start the trust process, you must first make a stated or unstated intention to fulfill some sort of promise to a friend. Also, do not think like me and believe you can escape this step by not making promises or saying your intentions. I have discovered with much regret that we will always make an intention for a particular action. We might avoid saying it, but our behavior will scream it.

2. Completion – This is simple math but I did much better on the writing portion of the A.C.T.. We must complete and fulfill every intention that we make. It is like losing weight in its easier said than done. Fulfilling ALL intentions is extremely difficult, but we must persevere. We must put completion of intentions as a top priority in our already massive list of responsibilities, activities and time-wasters.

3.  Consistency – You cannot rest when you fulfill one promise. The building of trust is a game of risk and percentages that people always err on the side of caution. Bart Connor, an Olympic gold winning gymnast, said that chance can fulfill a goal every once in awhile, but true consistent success takes love. This is the same with trust. Your special someone can only trust you when you are truly dedicated to them which produces true consistency.

The Enduring and Lasting of Your Dreams Takes Hard Work

Building trust is not easy work. It is even harder for relationships that you have previously failed. It is not for the easily distracted and those who prefer the easy way out, but is possible and well worth it. We must prioritize it and dedicate our hearts to building it if we really want the enduring  and lasting relationships that we truly desire in our hearts.

Imagine the joy and happiness you can bring to the most important people in your life if they could fully trust you. What if you were the first and only person that they called when the world stole their spirits and left them alone and needing true support?

You can have the most honest and real relationships of your life if you are willing to put in the work to become a trustworthy and dependable person.

Succeed in Your Relationships Where I Have Failed

Some of you may be curious if I had gotten the furniture moved the next day. No, I did not. I failed to fulfill my promise and intention with this very important person in my life. This situation will haunt me for awhile even though it might not have been a concern to my friend. I know that I risked her trust and I must put more effort into fulfilling my intentions.

I encourage you to become someone whom is trustworthy and dependable in your relationships even if you are like me and have failed consistently. It will be the hardest endeavor you have begun and very little fruit will be reaped in the beginning. You will still receive scowls and apathetic looks, but slowly the anger and concern will transform to love, respect and appreciation.

You will have an enduring and happy relationship that will leave others in complete awe.

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Thank You and Share Your Story to Help Us

If you made it to the end of this article – congratulations! This was a long read, but I pray that you were able to glean a little insight to help build a happy and lasting relationship. Take a minute and share a comment with our community about your own thoughts about trust and relationships because we need your voice to help us all grow.

Afterward, check out our other inspirational thoughts on relationships and life.

Enjoy your stay!

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