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Forgive and then forget, what a load of manuer. I say this to myself everytime I think about it. Whoever came up with this phrase never had to truly forgive someone. I’ve heard from some that it came from the Bible. No, this is a load of crap. It is just a pathetic attempt at validating the dumb idea. Jesus never said forgive and then forget. He told us to forgive. He knew that it is impossible to truly forget and thats why it is so painful to truly forgive.
I Forgave You
I’ve done the Christian thing and forgiven those people who have deeply hurt me. Those whom have negatively altered my perception of the world. “I forgive you” is a hard thing to say, even if you only think it. After the decision to forgive, life continued to pass. At first, everything was great. I had meaningful relationships with the people whom hurt me. As time continued to pass, I grew bitter again. I had not forgotten the past.
The Never-Ending Story
I came across an article today about forgiveness at Spiritual Journey of A Light Worker. She mentions that forgiveness is a continuous action. I agree. Jesus agreed. The ancient Greek language had an extra action tense. They could say a verb and mean that it is a continuous process. When Jesus said forgive, he used it in this context. To forgive is an action that must be done repeatedly.
This is the complex nature of forgiveness. We never forget the past where we have been hurt by someone else, so it makes sense that forgiveness is a continuous action. Every time we are reminded about our past, we must forgive again. Sometimes, we must do this daily.
Forgive - Forget
True forgiveness is one of the hardest things to attempt. It is tough to say “I forgive you” once, but it is unimagineably difficult to say it every time we remember the pain. I can’t do it by myself. I don’t know anyone who can, but this is what prayer is for. This is why we allow ourselves to become vulnerable to someone. Jesus knew the truth about forgiveness. It isn’t forgive and forget. It is forgive every time you remember.
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It may be easier if you acknowledge your role in the act that needs to be forgiven.
By your role I mean you attracted the situation just as much as the other player.
What ever happened that needs to be forgiven happened for a reason… if you can see this and find the reason you can come full circle to actually being grateful for the experience and come away a “better” person for it.
[...] Miracle presents Do You Have This Misconception of Forgiveness? posted at AltNoise.net. Forgiveness is such an important skill.. for what it is worth I believe [...]
I think I understand where you are coming from Steve. We always need to learn and accept (from your post on ‘be conscious now’) experiences so that we can grow from them. I don’t know if I agree that one can ever reach a state of gratefulness for a bad experience.. maybe grateful for what you’ve learned, but not for the experience.
I am also a little confused about how you say that I attracted the situation. Are you saying that it is always both people’s fault? I can’t agree with that idea. Alot of times, it could be true. On the other hand, there are plenty of times when one person couldn’t of changed the situation. An abused child could not be considered equally at fault as the abusive parent.
[...] lastly, Stephen Miracle presents Do You Have that Misconception of Forgiveness? posted at [...]
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