Forgive and forget.. what a load of manuer.
I say this to myself everytime I think about it. Whoever came up with this phrase never had to forgive someone. I’ve heard from some that it came from the Bible.
That is wrong.
It is just a pathetic attempt at validating the dumb idea. Jesus never said forgive and then forget. He told us to forgive. He knew that it is impossible to truly forget
and thats why it is so painful to truly forgive.
I Forgave You
I’ve done the Christian thing and forgiven those people who have deeply hurt me. Those whom have negatively altered my perception of the world.”I forgive you” is a hard thing to say, even if you only think it.
Life continues after you choose to forgive.
At first, everything was great. I had great relationships with the people whom hurt me. As time continued to pass, I grew bitter again.
I had not forgotten the past.
The Never-Ending Story
I came across an article today about forgiveness at Spiritual Journey of A Light Worker. She mentions that forgiveness is a continuous action. I agree.
Jesus agreed.
The ancient Greek language had an extra action tense. They could say a verb and mean that it is a continuous process. When Jesus said forgive, he used it in this context.
To forgive is an action that must be done repeatedly.
This is the complex nature of forgiveness. We never forget the past where we have been hurt by someone else, so it makes sense that forgiveness is a continuous action. Every time we are reminded about our past, we must forgive again.
Usually forgiveness is daily.
Forgive – Forget
True forgiveness is one of the hardest things that we will ever attempt. It is tough to say “I forgive you” once, but it is unimagineably difficult to say it every time we remember the pain.
I can’t do it by myself.
I don’t know anyone who can, but this is what prayer is for. This is why we allow ourselves to become vulnerable to someone. Jesus knew the truth about forgiveness.
It isn’t forgive and forget.
It is forgive every time you remember.
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Hello! My name is Stephen Miracle. I am the founder of altNoise. I have worked in ministry for the last decade. Please enjoy and freely share these articles created with love.
It may be easier if you acknowledge your role in the act that needs to be forgiven.
By your role I mean you attracted the situation just as much as the other player.
What ever happened that needs to be forgiven happened for a reason… if you can see this and find the reason you can come full circle to actually being grateful for the experience and come away a “better” person for it.
I think I understand where you are coming from Steve. We always need to learn and accept (from your post on ‘be conscious now’) experiences so that we can grow from them. I don’t know if I agree that one can ever reach a state of gratefulness for a bad experience.. maybe grateful for what you’ve learned, but not for the experience.
I am also a little confused about how you say that I attracted the situation. Are you saying that it is always both people’s fault? I can’t agree with that idea. Alot of times, it could be true. On the other hand, there are plenty of times when one person couldn’t of changed the situation. An abused child could not be considered equally at fault as the abusive parent.
…….
Forgiving and remembering the pain is the hardest and best thing in the world. Forgiving and loving while remembering is the greatest gift God has given.
Hi Kaite, thanks for the comment. I completely agree. The way you wrote that made me realize that this is almost the exact definition of what grace means. You know somebody did you wrong, but you still find a way inside of yourself to forgive them.. Sounds like a great blog post
thanks again for the insightful words
Thanks! It has been a huge process learning that definition of grace…. not there yet all the time, but that is why I need the Lord to do it not me!
Thanks for stopping by Faith Barista, Stephen. I appreciated the comment you added that forgiveness is a continual commitment to endure. And I like your title. Misconception is right!
Thanks Bonnie. I really enjoy your site. I plan on reading more of your articles when I have a chance and participate in the community you have.
I agree. Forgiveness i just the first step on the road to true healing. Restoring the broken places that still “remember” can only be done through the Blood of Jesus. I believe that as we yield to His healing process, that one day when we remember, there won’t be pain anymore just the memory of His restoration and love.
Keeping our eyes on above is a great point. C.S. Lewis wrote a lot about keeping our eyes heavenward and I believe it also applies here to forgiveness and restoration.
I am loving these discussions. Definitely thank you to Bonnie for having such great conversation starters.