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Brutally Honest
I am going to be brutally honest in this post so be warned. If you’re not in the mood to hear the pouting of a white upper-middleclass Jesus Freak, then you are welcome to click this link.
I haven’t been able to keep up with my posting this week. I really haven’t had the motivation nor the desire. My friend whom I most closely can relate has just had surgery to remove a tumor from his brain. IÂ suppose things like that change your entire perspective.. especially on living.
I have managed to hold back the tears that want to fall from my eyes. I don’t want to admit that it is all real. I don’t want to give up. I think life still is worth living, but I would like to take a DAMN BREAK. A break so that I can forget about everything and just cease to worry. I know its not true, but I need to believe for a moment that life is pointless. Maybe, if I run away for a couple of days, everything can catch back up to me. Maybe, I could cry.
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Stephen, First of all, just let me give you a big (((((((HUG))))))). It is normal to feel like you want to be strong for someone you love that is sick, but it’s also okay to cry and feel helpless. All you can do is be there for him, and do what he needs you to do. If you run away from this, you might miss out on a great moment to get even closer to him and to make him feel comforted. I think I know you well enough to know how you’re feeling right now and how hard this must be, but I also know how much you care for him; you know he is worth the pain you are feeling. If you want to talk, you know my number. I’m sure I owe you one! Much love and many hugs. If there is anything I can do, please ask!
[...] to begin by saying thank-you to all the comments and emails that I’ve received via my last two posts. My friend’s tumor has been a hard thing for me to handle and is deeply testing my faith. [...]